Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
I’m often caught up in thoughts of the past. Past decisions I regret and those path not taken. I had opportunities for spectacular success and great wealth, had I made a different choice.
In particular, I was an early adopter of Bitcoin (BTC) and mined it with my computers GPU and later using an ASIC device.
Many around me in those early days advised to simply buy and hold BTC, but instead I used my BTC to purchase more mining equipment and pay for services. In the end, as BTC rose in value, I had less and less in hand.
Looking at my wallet logs, I had transacted hundreds of bitcoin and thousands of Litecoin over the years, since 2013.
If I had listened to those folks who advised me to HODL, I would have become a millionaire once BTC hit $10k, and much more these days.
In the past I always thought that I would be married and have kids by know. But last year as I turned 40, it really hit me that those expectations were out of sight.
I have been blessed with parents that haven’t burdened me with the pressures of continuing on the family legacy. But I do feel personally responsible for doing just that.
I am the last male heir on both sides of the family. I have cousins in England, but they are without issue and are both quite older than myself. Of my American cousins, I have been advised not to have any contact with them, under any circumstances.
It truly is left to me to see this through. Unfortunately, I have not managed to escape the poverty I was raised in. I am still quite dependent upon all of the government handouts and family assistance, as I was as a child.
In the span of time when I was working productively, I mostly squandered my money on entertainments and, at times, I fell for financial scams. Sobriety and right thinking came late in life.
Throughout, I have barely socialized with others. I lack experience with the fairer sex beyond common encounters within workplace settings.
Of friends, I have only memories from school days passed. My best friend bid this world adieu nearly 13 years ago. He at least had started a family, while I have only myself to speak of.
I suppose I need to get the ball rolling at this point. So, if anyone out there is in the market for a husband, I am available and willing.
A little about me:
40 year old black male (heterosexual),
able of body, college graduate (AAS),
drive a Nissan LEAF (owned),
have some small retirement savings,
operate an eBay store ($4-5k annually),
live with parents, currently reside in North Carolina,
originally from Washington state, and open to relocation.
Note: a prior criminal conviction limits ability to acquire regular employment.
I first attended Clatsop Community College in Astoria, OR., in the Summer of 2006. This was after finishing my Facility Maintenance certification at the Job Corps Center.
I studied for a liberal arts degree but left after my 4th semester for a trip to Europe.
I enjoyed Economics, Local Government Operations, and three semesters of World Religions.
In 2021, after many years working in a retail pharmacy, I decided to go back to school and earn my degree.
I enrolled at Vance-Granville Community College and completed the Business Administration program, graduating in December of 2024.
My coursework included HR, Accounting, Logistics, and Federal Taxes, among other subjects.
I have been able to apply much of what I learned in school to my entrepreneurly aspirations, including my eBay stores and digital products through Payhip and Amazon.
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
I’ve found self-employment entails playtime all day punctuated by brief moments of work. Some days I start off on the “right side” of the bed and I get straight to work. More often though, I start my day with play.
Playtime typically includes YouTube, doom scrolling news articles, window shopping real-estate, or playing with our cat.
I do enjoy going out and sourcing goods for my eBay store, but that is work. Certainly when the tax season comes round, it was work.
If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?
I would choose purple and gold for my sports team colors. I’d love to own a pro golf team.
In the game of Golf, an “Eagle” is when you get the ball in the hole on the second swing. It’s one step below a “Hole in One.
I know the sport if more of a solo or duo activity, but I like pro gaming leagues and I think that business model would work well with the sport of Golf.
Eagle Swing is about aspiring to greatness on the field.
The stages of my political involvement are roughly: Democrat, Libertarian, Ineligible, and Revolutionary.
I first became eligible to vote for the 2004 election between George Bush Jr (R) and John Kerry (D).
My father, being British, could not vote and so my mother directed me to the democratic caucus. There I received guidance from family friends who all apparently were in the democrat camp.
My father had little faith in America’s elective process. Growing up in London and having lived through WW2, he held a worldly understanding of history and recognized the precursors of fascism.
He would often warn me of the course that American politics were heading in.
At the caucus, there was much excitement and hope. Riding the wave, I volunteered as an alternate to cast the local ballot at the larger county caucus. The other person called out sick and my father drove me to the county election where I put a name in for the town.
The blue’s lost by a wide margin that election.
My next election was between John McCain (R) and Obama (D) in 2008.
My father would often say Americans would never elect a non-white president. He said the roots of racism ran too deep in this country.
I was especially pleased when Obama won in 2008. Although over time a became disillusioned by the democratic party. I became more cognizant of the war mongering party members espoused. In particular their distinct hatred of China and Russia.
For the 2012 election, I switched parties. I had asked my mother if there were any other choices beyond red and blue. Prior to this point, I had never heard of the Green’s or the Libertarian Party. Regular media never covered them or mentioned their existence.
I joined the Libertarians and cast my vote for Gary Johnson (L) of New Mexico. The result was understandably predictable. But I felt more at ease with my decision.
It was my involvement with the Yellow team that lead me to voting in local and state elections. I briefly considered running my self as there were regular calls for candidates through out the state.
I met some other hopefuls who went on to be elected, but my introvert nature was not suited to political work. At best I could vote and send letters.
It was during the 2016 election that I seriously considered the party’s platform, it’s membership, and the potential fallout for people like me if they were to actually win.
The Libertarians are predominantly white wealthy Christians who support small ineffectual government and the mass privatization of all sectors.
For a person of color who was (and still is) reliant on government assistance, ardently Atheist, and generally living in poverty, the Yellow team wasn’t exactly a healthy choice.
In 2020, I lost the option of a political choice with my arrest and subsequent conviction.
Watching from the sidelines, I gained a certain degree of perspective. Being marginalized, helped me to see how the all the big changes affected the little guy. I recognized the suffering of the people and took time to rethink my politics.
While I am now once again eligible to vote, I choose not to. Instead, I feel that the necessary change this nation needs cannot be achieved through a democratic process.
What is needed is a revolution. I support civil war.
There is a divide that needs to be acknowledged. Red’s and Blue’s both hold starkly different views on numerous topics, views that cannot honestly coexist in peace.
When one side is in control, the other will suffer. When the balance shifts, the formerly controlled seek the oppression of their enemies. This cycle repeats endlessly.
Peace and prosperity can never be achieved while the two sides remain in conflict.
It was the same with the Catholics and Protestants, Socialism and Nazism, Liberals and Conservatives.
In America, Conservative Christians have largely embraced white supremacy and Nazism. Their politics and religion have become inseparable.
They have shown their hand plainly for all to see.
Suppression of history relating to non-whites including the slave trade, oppression of First Nation peoples, war crimes and atrocities committed in the Middle-East, travel bans on non-white countries, and establishing concentration camps for Hispanics (immigrants).
These are crimes against humanity and should not be tolerated nor forgiven.
These things and more are why I support revolution in America. Why I support civil war.
Half of this nation are dumbasses who should take a long walk off a short pier. Just my opinion.
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
A small room, a bed, and a writing desk. The size of a singles dorm. No computer, no television, no radio, just me and my thoughts.
I did my best writing in jail. After about a month, the last dregs of mass media had seeped out of my mind and I finally began to think my own thoughts.
Creativity, whom I hadn’t seen since childhood, came out of hibernation, and he had all sorts of ideas.
So, I wrote them down. It was a team effort, with Creativity chatting away and me scribbling along with a pencil nub, page after page, around 100 pages actually.
When I got out I planned on typing it all up. I felt like I held a masterpiece, an epic that couldn’t be found elsewhere. But as the allure of television and other media called, I soon forgot my manuscript, and Creativity went back to bed.
Then in late 2023, generative AI showed up on the scene. My handwritten stories felt pretty simple compared to what the machine could do.
I wonder if maybe I had a small quite redoubt, somewhere, I could possibly wake up Creativity publish our stories.
I bought my leaf in 2024 used from Smart Cars Weiland in Pittsboro. It had 17k miles on the odometer and I paid 18k with some financing.
Highlights of the LEAF
The Nissan LEAF, launched in 2010, pioneered the mass-market electric vehicle (EV) segment, becoming one of the world’s best-selling EVs by offering affordable, zero-emission transport.
It evolved through two main generations, starting with modest range (around 100 miles) and basic tech, then adding larger batteries (up to 60 kWh), longer range (over 200 miles with LEAF PLUS), e-Pedal, and ProPilot Assist for improved driving and safety, solidifying its role in daily commuting worldwide.
My parents would always buy coconut milk for curry dishes.
My father being British would make Indian Currys while my mother was fond of Thai curry. Coconut-fried rice was also a staple of many meals.
The fats in coconut are beneficial for health, and the pulp is a good source of fiber for digestion.
Fresh Fruits
Apples and Oranges, Bananas and Berries, Seasonal Melons and exotic fare. Fresh fruit is always kept in ready supply.
A great alternative to sugary foods and full of vitamins, you cannot go wrong with fruit. As they say, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
But make sure you brush your teeth. All that natural sugar will rot your teeth if left unchecked, and will summon doctors of dentistry.
Canned Salmon
Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, salmon was a staple of the region for many groups including First Nation people’s. The Chinook and Sockeye in particular played a big role in the culture and lives of the people.
I can remember school trips to Native-American museums in Washington, totem poles, and visits to the reservation in Yakima. My parents would often say, I was conceived on the Res.
Living now in North Carolina, the salmon here is predominantly Atlantic and especially pricey. Canned Alaskan salmon however is inexpensive by contrast. The cans are tall and hold a good amount of fish, enough for multiple meals.
Canned Salmon was the first food we fed our family cat, Mei Mei. She eats dry food now that she is older, but occasionally, we will give her a fishy treat from out the can.
Rice
Our grain of choice when it comes to cooking, sometimes mixed with bulgur or buckwheat. Rice pairs nicely with most dishes. Sometimes the Rice is the primary focal point of the meal as with fried-rice and rice-balls.
As mentioned earlier, Coconut-fried rice is a nice Thai dish. My mother enjoys cooking East Asian foods like Korean Bulgogi, Japanese Miso Soup, or Chinese Egg-Drop Soup. Rice often accompanies these dishes as a side and staple.
Frozen Veggies
Stir fry is probably the most common way we eat our vegetables, seconded only by tossed salads.
The pre-made stir fry mixes in the frozen foods section at the Food Lion grocery store seem to be shrinking, but we still buy them. I recall the bags were a couple pounds each back in the mid 2000s, but now they are often less than 16 ounces for the same price.
They have also begun to include sauce packets in the bag that take up space that previously help more veggies.
What we cannot get at the grocery store, we buy from local farm stands, or grow ourselves in our backyard garden. We sometimes also go to the Farmers Market.
Fat Wallet Refugee 